• CM

Your most important relationship...

Updated: Aug 6, 2021

Your most important relationship is your relationship to the universe...

What does the universe mean to you? What doesn’t it mean? What terms resonate with you most – universe, creation, God, divine, flow? Math, physics, logic? This can be a spiritual, artistic, scientific, or atheistic conversation. Please substitute any language label in this post for a label that speaks more to your heart.

To me, a relationship to the universe means:

- Always reconnecting to a deeper flow of life.

- Identifying most with a creative power over any other form of identification.

- Remembering that while we may attach to forms (through sense perception, object attachment mind identification) we are ultimately part of a great formless energetic flow- in this regard we are health, we are healing, we are pure energy.

Not putting our relationship to the universe first can result in many problems:

- Broadly, we identify with permanence when life is inherently impermanent.

- We might forget to stay focused on the highest energetic frequency, or greatest creative possibilities, that will get us furthest in life.

- We lessen our energy by putting emphasis on stuck parts of ourselves.

- We may have heightened stress symptoms- research indicates that anxiety, depression, and PTSD are a result of identification with cognitions (stuck points) and that identification with a greater awareness beyond the mind can reduce these symptoms.

- We forget to be creative- flexible- playful- because we are caught in keeping things as they are rather than letting a freer movement- flow- energy- guide us/ unfold us.

What are some reasons that cause us to forget this relationship?:

- We may be tired and feel like it’s easier to keep our old habits in place.

- We may be afraid of letting go of habitual ways of relating to life. And it takes effort!

- We may have others around us who reinforce identification with stuck forms.

- Maybe we have belief systems about what life is “supposed to be”- an expression of pragmatism, efficiency, survival, or that we are supposed to tolerate chronic unhappiness.

- Similarly, we might have limiting beliefs about relationships should be and apply this in our relationship to the universe.

This is a universal message:

- Many spiritual traditions talk about this concept in varying ways. For example, in my opinion the Biblical notion of idolatry is about identifying with forms or lower energetic frequencies that take us away from a focus on the greatest energetic frequency that we might identify with.

- Various psychological theories identify flexibility, shifting, insight, transcendence, and transformation as the goals of psychotherapy. You’ll notice that all of these change patterns or terms involve moving from a lesser to greater sense of connection to self. There is always a move from small to large (form to formless).

Prompts for reflection and suggested practices:

- What does form mean to you? What does the formless mean to you? How can these two phenomena go together?

- When you think of the most sublime, transcendental, freeing, creative moment in your life what is it? What was happening on an energetic level?

- Can a continued relationship to the universe involve hard moments? How can flow and hard moments go together in a continuum that does not disrupt a relationship to the universe?

- What are some of the limits of considering this subject through language?

- If you were to write a book on maintaining a relationship to the universe, what would you suggest?

- What are your beliefs about what positive relationships are? How could your beliefs about human relationships limit your beliefs about a relationship to the universe? What do you want to believe?


- Journal about this topic.

- Consider the feeling in the body when you are connected most to the universe and use movement exercises to explore how to connect with it.

- Have a ceremony where you write out fears relating to connection to the universe and release these fears.

- Develop a little research project where you consider how different cultures and spiritual traditions talk about this topic. Similarly consider how non-spiritual approaches to this topic show up in our society.

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